Oh No! Work!

I've always considered myself a bit lazy. I often wait before plunging into anything and then take the way that seems the easiest. But if being a teacher has taught me anything, it's that I'm a frickin' busy bee compared to the slothful work ethic of my students.

I have my composition kids writing one paragraph corresponding to a subject that begins with each letter of the alphabet. By the end of one week, students will have 26 paragraphs. I've never seen anybody freak out so much. The word seems to have spread to some of my other classes. "How could you do that?" they scream, as if I've led a marching band over a field of infants.


Then, today, I told my English Ten that they will likely have to write out 15-16 paragraphs for their take-home Lord of the Flies Test. They didn't freak out quite as much, but those who had been talking instead of taking notes had to scoop their slackened jaws from the floor.

It's the sadist in me that leads me to writing. It's thrills me to see them dip into what they consider suffering. I don't even try to tell them it's because they'll have bigger things to write in college or that it will do them well in the long run. I just want to become a figure of a mean, old man.

From Wolverine to Lord of the Flies and Beyond

I said I'd talk Tuesday about Wolverine, and as tends to happen, life got in the way and I lost myself in whirl of my week. So here are the thoughts of all sorts of things this week.

Wolverine: I've tried to make myself think better of it since I saw it last weekend, and though I'm coming closer to not hating it, I still have images of young or normal Wolverine looking straight up into a sky camera and yelling "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Another teaacher said he saw it and thought it was pretty good. I experienced this kind of thing last year when Kingdom of the Crystal Skull hit theaters. This other teacher tosses in little bits he knows about Wolverine and says how well the movie captured it. It really only bothered him that they made Logan from Northern Territories instead of Ontario (this teacher is Canadian and apparently wants to make sure this fact is straight).

Film Snob: Sitting in the theater for the first time in about two months, and on a Saturday night no less, I realized how much of a snob I am. As people crowded around me and their banter filled my ears, I began to hunch in my seat, trying to shield myself from these people feel is crucial film knowledge. In particular, the people right behind commented on the slides and advertisements that flashed on the screen. "Orlando Bloom has Elven script tattooed around his wrist," the screen informed us.

"Actually," the patron behind me added, "all the actors in that movie got tattoos like that."

"Really?" asked his friends, in obvious awe of his vast and powerful intellect.

I began to think of David Sedaris' essay about theaters in Europe that are perfectly silent that play old classics all day. I craved that. With Wolverine being especially crappy, I really, really craved that. Instead though I thought about Shepherd book's information about the special ring of hell for people who talk in theaters...that made me smile.

Christ Figure: We recently read the part of The Lord of the Flies where Simon staggers into the chanting savage tribe and gets beaten to death. This in mind, we spent a day to talk about the use of a Christ figure. It was a thrill to be able to talk so much about Christ. It pops up from time to time, but I don't get to go into any details about things. This allowed the opportunity to say a great deal more than normal on the subject. In each class, students asked in one way or another if this way something that we could even be talking about at school. As one student put it: "Is this English or church?" My favorite parts were that students said more than I did about who Jesus was and the good news that his story is.

Misrepresentation: With my wife's magazine poised to boost and praise Christian schools, she and I talked a lot about common beliefs about public school from people who have never set foot in one. "I can't say the name of Jesus, or else..." That kind of thing. It is really too bad that there is so much fear about unleashing kids to the evil place of public school while not understanding how much can be done in those places.

Parents: My folks will be in town this weekend for my brother's wife's college graduation. It will be groovy. I've not seen my parents since Christmas and it seems that it's been about as long since I seen my brother and his wife. Though this makes for a busy weekend, it should mean it's a good one.

Lord of the Flies

This week, I'm starting the novel with my English Ten class. To get them in the mindset, I asked them to write about how they would plan to survive if our class were stranded on an island. The responses were generally amusing with mentions of cannibalism (always makes me laugh...that's weird), monkeys, and the general class vibes about other class members. Throughout the papers though, one line just made me laugh.

"I would find my own little spot & gathered up all the black people & try 2 figure something out."

The writer continues to explain the eradication of the weak and making sure there is a boy to do all the hard work.