Education: The Social Perspective Part II

I really have been writing this week, but there was something about this entry that never satisfied. So I'm going to throw out the thoughts I've got and stop caring so much.

Culturally, there is something wrong with dating. It's broken, I think. I came to this realization after talking with some good friends that had their dating heyday before I was born (they don't like it when I bring that up). They talk about dating as being a series of dates and that's it. I don't see that happen much anymore, but I wish I did.

Going to a boarding high school, I saw that dating can be even more broken. In my years since attending, I see that the whole social atmosphere is unhealthy for dating and what that entails. The biggest problem: no dates.

When I started going out with my first girlfriend, we were a couple for months before we had our first date. The problem here is that I found myself latched to the person without really getting to know her. I think it's better to have to option of being with a person without faculty watching, without friends influencing conversations, without the gym as a primary hangout spot.

Not having the option of a date morphs the whole idea into something that is formal, special, personal, and private. The result: once on a date with one person, an established relationship of sorts is solidified. My mother tells me of a time when it was common to go out with three different people within a weekend. That was normal. If people tried that within an Adventist realm, the reputation of a person's honor would be at stake. A date used to be casual, a getting to know you type of thing. It has changed to something that carries the weight of commitment on its shoulders, often crushing at least one of the two involved.

I have watched dozens of relationships crumble after a couple that has been joined at the hip for years throughout high school because one of the two people never discovered how to relate to people. In college, they discover that the social rules change and there are more people that don't expect you to take vows before holding your hand.

Now that I'm not in the middle of it, I would advise high schoolers to not date at all if they are at a boarding school. The list can get lengthy, but for the sole reason of being confined to a serious relationship instead of a casual one is enough to be extremely cautious. But something about the Adventist boarding school culture enforces a serious relationship or no relationship at all.