Oh No! Work!

I've always considered myself a bit lazy. I often wait before plunging into anything and then take the way that seems the easiest. But if being a teacher has taught me anything, it's that I'm a frickin' busy bee compared to the slothful work ethic of my students.

I have my composition kids writing one paragraph corresponding to a subject that begins with each letter of the alphabet. By the end of one week, students will have 26 paragraphs. I've never seen anybody freak out so much. The word seems to have spread to some of my other classes. "How could you do that?" they scream, as if I've led a marching band over a field of infants.


Then, today, I told my English Ten that they will likely have to write out 15-16 paragraphs for their take-home Lord of the Flies Test. They didn't freak out quite as much, but those who had been talking instead of taking notes had to scoop their slackened jaws from the floor.

It's the sadist in me that leads me to writing. It's thrills me to see them dip into what they consider suffering. I don't even try to tell them it's because they'll have bigger things to write in college or that it will do them well in the long run. I just want to become a figure of a mean, old man.